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Yesterday, I tried a hypnosis session with @onetimtyler, and unfortunately, it didn't go as well as either of us hoped. In fact, he stopped the session mid-way through, and told me that he didn't feel like he was hypnotized.

Normally, I prefer to focus more on my successes than my failures, but I think it's important to point out that *nobody* is perfect, including me. I'm actually very glad that @onetimtyler felt comfortable enough to tell me that it wasn't working for him!

@onetimtyler told me that he felt relaxed, but also that he felt like he was "playing along" for me: responding in the ways that he thought he was supposed to, rather than truly letting go and allowing his subconscious mind react automatically. It's not the first time I've heard that from someone who has difficulty going into trance. I think most people are at least a bit scared of losing control, even if that fear is also mixed with curiosity and arousal.

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What's more, the harder you try to let go, the more difficult it is to actually do so! "Trying" implies focused effort towards a particular goal, while "letting go" means allowing your mind to wander without a particular goal or direction. Some people are so driven and goal-oriented in their everyday lives, that the idea of not having a goal is difficult to grasp!

That doesn't mean people like that can't be hypnotized, it just means that they need to learn how to stop trying.

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If someone is having difficulty with going into trance, I would *much* prefer that they tell me so, the way @onetimtyler did. That way, we can discuss the situation, and hopefully find a way to solve the problem, rather than just ignoring it and hoping it will go away.

Feedback and constructive criticism are some of the best ways to learn. Every subject is different, and sometimes I need to learn more about a particular subject before I can hypnotize him effectively.

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I'm a professional hypnotist, and I do charge for hypnosis sessions. However, I don't believe in making people pay for a bad experience. I offered @onetimtyler a full refund for the session he booked with me, and I make the same offer to anyone who doesn't go into trance during one of my hypnosis sessions.

My success rate is quite high, but not 100%, and offering refunds makes *me* feel better when things don't work out.

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However, I'm happy to report that @onetimtyler decided not to take the refund, and instead is going to try again with me sometime in the future. Will I be able to hypnotize him on the second try? Who knows! But because of that conversation we had after the unsuccessful session, I have a pretty good idea of where I went wrong. Next time, I'll take things more slowly, and hopefully build enough trust that he feel more comfortable letting go.

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Update: @onetimtyler has decided to take the refund after all, and has deleted his Mastodon account, as well. Oh well — can’t win ‘em all, I guess. 🙁

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@HairyHypnotist @onetimtyler "Fake it 'til you make it" was one of the most harmful pieces of advice I ever got as a would-be hypno sub. It kept me trying and thinking I was a failure for years, then coming to resent each hypnotist for the lies I was telling him, others and myself to try to make the illusion feel real.

Honesty is important, even when it's not what you want to say nor what your dom wants to hear.

@HairyHypnotist It's also worth understanding that some people just can't experience trance the way most can, due to some difference in our brains. For me it's autism. Learning that hypnosis doesn't really happen for me in any useful (to me) way was crushing. Learning that it actually exists for others and I'm good at it was... kind of a nice consolation prize. But always aware that there are others like me who just can't.

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